when my Mistress calls ...

i have been unbelievably busy lately with a pressing project at work. it has really consumed and sucked up all my time. with so much weighing on me, i sometimes do stupid unconscionable things which can tend to get me into more trouble.

case in point this past Friday. my Mistress and i had been invited to a birthday celebration for one of Her friends. i was excited to go. there would be food, drink and other libations. My Mistress busied herself about the kitchen baking some delicious cookies. Before i left for work on that day, She reminded me to be home and ready to go by 7:30PM, sharp.

unfortunately, i got tied up literally at work with this project i was working on. to make matters worse, i was crawling around working on some wires and had not noticed that my phone had fallen out of my pocket of all places the ceiling!. The hours ticked away and i had forgotten where i lost my phone. my crew and i heard it ringing, yet we couldn't locate it. finally, someone said, "hey, i think it is up in the ceiling?"

I climbed back up there, and sure enough, there it was, buzzing and vibrating quite put out and angrily at me. i stared down at the blinking screen and knew immediately who was trying to reach me.

The first thing i saw was my Mistresses text.

at 7:47PM She calmly texted:
"What is going on?"

i had not responded, even though the deadline for me finishing up my work and leaving had passed.

She had called me 5 times within the span of a half hour.

She then called me and left me this terse message.

"fishpaste", What the fuck!
You, had better answer your GOD DAMNED PHONE RIGHT NOW!
And no! I don't give a flying fuck or care about other responsibilities or things you are involved in right now.
Get your ass on the phone and call me, NOW!

She then called me again.

"fishface", if you know what is good for you, ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE ... RIGHT NOW!"

but ...

it was the last text that scared me. i am always frightened when my Mistress texts me and starts counting the seconds as to when i should answer. it can only mean that i have pushed Her to the limit, and am in serious danger of losing Her. :(

at 8:05PM She texted me:

"you have exactly two seconds to answer. and no, again I don't give a rat's ass or fuck about what is keeping you busy. Excuse yourself and answer ME immediately!"

luckily, at that point, i was out the door on my way home, and though shaking like a leaf, had managed enough courage to call Her and apologize for my inane stupidity.

i called Her back immediately, and told her what had happened. She listened and was silent, but i could almost tell that She was grinning almost ready to bust out laughing because of my ineptness.

i told her i was on my way home and that i would be there shortly.

"How soon will you be here?"
"about 10 minutes.", i said.
"Good."

I pushed the pedal to the metal and rushed home.
please understand that everything that i have or use belongs to my Mistress also. being a submissive means rendering respect and honor to your Mistress, especially, when you have fucked up big time.

this was such an occasion.

i timidly texted Her:
"i'm back Mistress. may i enter?"

She immediately texted me back:
"Get your butt in here."

i came in tried to apologize profusely for what happened, then i saw the reason for Her anger.

My Mistress had made me one of Her special cookies. it was a lone cookie with a single candle burning brightly.

"Happy belated birthday pet."

She than sang Happy Birthday to me with Her own sardonic touch.
"happy Birthday to you... happy birthday to you.
your'e too fucking old to put more candles on it."

i almost got choked up. but, didn't this time.

"Now, pack this crap up, get your ass upstairs, change that shirt and let's go get some ______.

i stuffed the rest of Her cookie in my mouth, smiled and gleefully did as i was told.

a playful encounter, or more signs of the times?

superman gets a beatdown

overly pure, and morally conscious superman confronts some streetwise girls and gets his ass kicked and handed to him.

an interesting way to break your nose

a Femdom termination comedy short

this is a funny short film of a dominatrix working in Human Resources. i would probably change it up a bit though. even though She seems to have a delightful time firing people, the masochist in me wants to see her totally terminate people with creative torturous ways. ah well ... but then, it wouldn't be a comedy. or, would it?

the blade ... part 1

there are times when a submissive just knows when something is up, and also times when he is totally oblivious to what may be in store for him. my Mistress enjoys playing head games with me. She is by far the superior "Gamestress", of this medium and delights in fucking with and tormenting my mind. sometimes,this occurs on a daily basis.

the week prior to Her latest departure, i was busying myself tidying up and removing accumulated dishes and various forms of debris from Her room. as i was doing so i seemed to constantly come across one of Her knives seemingly unsheathed. i was always careful to resheath it, place it someplace safe and then go about my business of serving Her needs. these episodes went on for about the better part of a week and it began to unnerve me a bit. The blade seemed to always be pointed in my direction. i found it in various locations about Her room. one day it would be on top of Her dresser, the next day on her nightstand, and then the following day unsheathed and looking at me from Her unmade bed. one day i stumbled upon it in my bare feet. She had again left it, blade exposed on the floor. clumsily, i jabbed my toe into the sharp blade, and feared it had left a gaping wound. luckily, this had not happened. My Mistress seemed totally oblivious to what had just happened. She was undisturbed and reading contentedly.

She flicked the page and then stirred just a bit ...

"Hmmmmm ..... did you say something, pet?" She barely looked up from the page She was reading.

"nothing ... i said rubbing my toe. it's just well ... "

"Just what?" the pages She was engrossed in slid in casually between Her fingers.

"oh forget it ... it's really not that important."

i gathered up some of the remaining bones and cleared the dirty dishes from Her bed.

"Bullshit. tell me now, since you have disturbed my reading." the light in the room reflected off the hue of Her green eyes and it seemed a warning to me.

i looked down, disappointed that i had displeased her.

"Well, I'm waiting." By now She had closed Her book and was tapping her three longest fingers in three count intervals across it's glossy cover.

i stammered a bit ... "it's just that every time i come in here, that knife is in a different location. i don't know ... always pointed at me." i looked down and continued.

"i know ... it sounds stupid, but i'm beginning to think that thing has a mind of it's own."

my Mistress looked at me ... a wicked grin ebbed and flowed across Her sharp teeth. Her eyes narrowed into discerning slits as She snaked Her way across the blankets on Her bed and picked up the knife.

"... Mmmmmmm, And that bothers you?" Now standing, She twirled the blade in Her hand and brought the point of it close to my nose, seemingly trying to slash and gouge through my trembling nostrils.

"well, yes ... it does, Mistress. you know how i am around your sh - sh -arp, p- p - ointed objects." i was now stuttering and falling all over my words. looking quite foolish, like a frightened schoolboy.

She slinked around me pacing and placing the blade in various vulnerable places all over my body. i closed my eyes and cringed as i felt the cold steel trace a sure path across the softness of my cheek.

"Awwwwwwwwwwe ... it's not going to cut you ... suddenly, i felt the tip of the blade's point dig into the flesh of my abdomen. ... at least, not yet." She grabbed my chin, looked fiercely into my eyes and cut some of my hair with Her raw blade. Her laugh was teasing, but had an odd coldness about it.

Then, just as suddenly as it had all begun, it was over.

"Now, go get me something to eat. i'm hungry ... and be quick about it."

She left the room quickly, creating a brisk breeze ... leaving me to clear up Her dirty dishes.

this is too funny ...C(#_^)D

be careful what you wish for. lol!

i like this ... just 'cause ... ;)

not a great likeness ...

but ...

of course Her hair could be longer and wilder.
Her teeth should be pointed ending in a sardonic grin.
She should be dressed in tight fitting black yoga pants
and a short t.
of course sneakers are entirely optional.

... but, i do think it gets the point across.

"Awwwwwwwe come on ... It's just a tiny paper cut."

my Mistress got a bit playful the other day opening Her mail. She mistakenly thought my nose was Her letter opener.

sometimes W/we all need to be prodded to remember ...

my Mistress uses Her iphone on a daily basis. it is Her primary personal and business link to the outside world. She had asked me to pick-up some new iphone covers to replace Her scratched and torn ones. i did so, on a lunch break, but continued to forget and leave them. this was not intentional. i just became preoccupied and had forgotten that i had left them on my desk at work.

She asked everyday if i had gotten them for Her. i replied yes, but that i had forgotten to bring them with me. after the third lame excuse, she became exasperated and said,

"you had better remember them tomorrow, or perhaps, i will have to pound my phone into Your skull to jog Your memory. would that help? ... Hmmm?

i shuddered and remembered how hard Her otter phone case was. She had used it many times to wallop me in the face and head. afterall,the two remaining lumps under my hair were still bruised and quite swollen from O/our last playtime.

i sputtered and looked down.
"no Mistress, that will not be necessary. i will make sure to remember to bring them home tomorrow. She slapped me hard across the face then said,

"Good boy ... now, leave me, i want to sleep."

sometimes the most childish methods help us to remember rather mundane or routine tasks. here is what i did to help me remember those phone covers. lol! i even texted a picture of my hand to assure Her that i had not forgotten them.

persuasion and resumption ...

as many of my silent observers have noted, i had decided to stop posting for awhile. to be honest, i have felt that what i had to say or contribute in regard to the Femdom relationship i have been involved in was not valued or appreciated. i am one of many submissive male voices out there trying to be heard above the prattle of those who seek only to fulfill themselves and pretend to live a Femdom based lifestyle based on satiating physical or sexual appetites and not seeing the true value or realizing the submissive chi given and returned in serving a Mistress completely.

serving a dominant Woman is much more than that! first and foremost, a Mistress is a human being with needs, desires, and sometimes complex issues which can get tangled up in the day to day, vanilla to vanilla and dark to dark. i am learning that sometimes it is important to give Her space and not smother Her every want and need. my Mistress is in many respects quite capable and supremely independent in the life that She chooses to live. but, She also relies on me for the day to day, mundane tasks which can overwhelm, shackle Her creative processes and weigh Her down. it is my purpose and delight to be needed in this respect.

i must be honest, that W/we do have O/our occasional disagreements which may bubble-up between U/s now and then. it does require stepping back sometimes and communicating respectfully with O/one A/another. but i do love being able to spend time, and being a servant and pet to Her. besides being my Mistress, She has also become a very dear and close friend who seems to know me better than anyone else. She calls me on my bullshit and once in awhile, enjoys devising ways to torment and abuse me for Her own amusement and pleasure.

... so, after some personal reflection, and coaxing mixed with a dash of painful arm twisting,*ouch!* i have decided to continue this blog. if not for the silent others, at least it will be a place for me to continue to record my deepest, personal thoughts and perspectives while on this Femdom journey. a safe portal in a sense to resume the discovery of my true self and absorb that which She feels will complete me and ultimately empower and benefit Her.