to all Y/you kinksters out there.

have a happy freaky, "fucking" halloweeen

from my Mistress and me.

words my Mistress lives by

"An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will"

meow ...

Happy Halloween!

x marks the spot ... part deux

my Mistress has a certain affinity for my forehead. She delights in poking, scratching and making it bleed on numerous occasions with random sharp objects. as such, She enjoys marking up my forehead with Her trademark "Xs". why Y/you may ask? i think the Xs serve as a mark which for all practical purposes are reminders that i am nothing more than an object a "target", for Her pugilistic impulses. yesterday She took a sharp pointed ball point pen and tried to mark my forehead with ink. but, unfortunately, my head was damp with perspiration. that did not detour Her though; She grabbed my chin with her free hand and dug the point of the pen in hard, scratching and furrowing into the skin's soft surface.after the third pass She exhibited a satiated grin and said,

"There, good luck with that fading anytime soon." She was right. the next day at work people came up to me and said,"Hey is that an x on your forehead? Didja go to the doctor for some kind of a test, or something?"

i would just smile and say that i was preparing to be a zombie for Halloween and my roommate was experimenting on me with some real looking latex and that the marks were left over from too strong a setting.

i couldn't tell the truth even if i had wanted to. no one would understand the pleasure derived at being bullied, written on and beaten by an aggressive, Dominant younger Woman. no one in the vanilla world that is.

the point is that i like living with one foot in the vanilla world and the other in a purple and bruised one. there is a certain thrill, danger and excitement that i feel when i know that my Mistress's physical marks are quite apparent and in full view to the vanilla world.

but ... i could be running out of explanations. i could take a hiatus for awhile from the fun, or remove all the sharp, pointed objects from O/our home.

hmmmmmmmm ... nah!

smacks

happiness is walking around work all day with your Mistress's footprints smeared all over your glasses. B-) a pleasant, subtle, reminder of the brutal, yet efficient manner She uses to clobber and smack the daylights out of you with just a pair of sandals.

re-affirmation

things are much better between my Mistress and i. i am still Her pet, and that means everything to me in the world! today i was privileged to assist Her in preparing for an important photo shoot. it was almost like old times. i located all the items of the wardrobe She asked me to find and didn't freak out once. it was a happy, enjoyable and pleasant day.

simple things

it has almost been a year since i went into full service as a slave for my endearing Mistress. as such, i was thinking about the things that make me happy when i'm with Her. i know they may seem simple and inconsequential, but they are important to me.
i love to hear my Mistress praise me rather than belittle and tear me down. i appreciate that She truly values my gift of submission and expects respect and obedience in return from me. i love it when my Mistress assigns a list of chores or work to me and then She inspects and makes sure that i follow through. sometimes, my work is not up to Her exacting standards and i will have to redo what is unacceptable. it is important to see that She cares to follow through. it shows that She values my work.

nothing pleases me more than to be shown off in front of my Mistress's Girlfriends. it brings a special satisfaction and enjoyment to have the ability to cook and serve a meal for Her and Her friends.

i enjoy the quiet times, when she allows me to be at peace curled by Her amazing feet while She reads or texts. i love when She sees fit to yank my hair, look into my eyes and call me Her "good boy". it is also a privilege to be able rub and massage Her feet when She allows me.

finally,i also enjoy Her slaps, punches, kicks, ear pinches, chokes, pokes, scratches and tweaks. physical pain and contact are important to me. they are sensations of Her acceptance and physical affection and affirmation of me.

sometimes, all that is needed is to be splattered and face planted with ooey, gooey marinara sauce. yep, that should do it! :)

recovery

i have recently felt terrible, both physically and mentally. in the physical sense, i have have had a month long bout with a cold which started as a sniffle then morphed into bronchittus and is now a sinus buster. it has made me irritable and grumpy, but i am happy to say that i am finally poised for recovery.

mentally i have been disagreeable with my Mistress for a week or so. it has placed me on the outside with Her and produced a significant wedge between U/us. i can feel Her disappointment in me. Since this has happened, i have been utterly miserable, not being able to please Her and feeling so distant from Her. yet, in all things,i have discovered that there is a lesson to be learned. the problem is, that sometimes, i am not willing to be taught.

a bdsm relationship,and friendship is not unlike that of a vanilla one. there are ups and downs and arguments and disagreements. that is life. that is how W/we all roll.

i am happy to say that things seem to be better with my Mistress and i. i still respect Her and love to serve Her, but i also realize that there may be times when She needs to go into Herself and may leave me on the outside for awhile. i guess there is nothing wrong with barking or whining a little to let Her know that i am still out there waiting ... ready to serve ... ready to play ... ready to listen ... always a willing friend.

smudges

as i was driving today into the sun i noticed the besmirched markings of my Mistress's sneakers pand dirty feet prints on my windshield. each greasy mark was an account of a travel, a short journey or a privileged errand i had run with Her. the prints of Her toes were clearly seen as were the balls of Her high arched feet. it brought me back to a moment when i watched with rapt fascination as lShe braced the soles of Her painted toes against my windshield, let the wind play with the curled snags and tangles of Her thick dark hair, and then casting me an impish grin said.

"you know, I could easily kick out your windshield with only my feet. perhaps I/lw should try? Should I?"

with that being said ...

Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will
leave footprints on your windshield.*

*my apologies to Eleanor Roosevelt ... :)

balance

everything that i have read about bdsm relationships indicates that their should be a balance between the Domme and the sub and their respective behaviors towards each other; the yin and the yang so to speak. i think in the beginning of O/our relationship that this was true. however, now things have changed. my Mistress treats me with indifference many times. i have felt a pulling away between U/us. i do not believe from my end, but more so from Hers.

perplexed

i had a major disagreement today with my Mistress. is this just another nail in the coffin between U/us?

i wish this wasn't so, but ...

i feel like my Mistress and i are starting to drift apart. i don't understand why, and this bothers me greatly.

She is coming ... and i am going

my dear Mistress is back home again ... , and i am glad :)

but, now i must leave for business and i am sad. :(

but, hopefully only for a short time.

feeling creative today ...

(sung to the tune of My Favorite Things)

"black yoga pants and fragrant worn sneakers, tight fisted gloves and ribbed "boy-beaters, and that look in Her eye that says ... "i can, and thats why. now, don't get too close or i'll poke out your eye."

when the knife cuts ...
when the hand slaps ...
when She kicks my balls ...

i simply remember the way She beats me
and then how she makes me crawl.

i miss my Mistress ... :(

Martial arts audition

i like this quote ...