recovery

i have recently felt terrible, both physically and mentally. in the physical sense, i have have had a month long bout with a cold which started as a sniffle then morphed into bronchittus and is now a sinus buster. it has made me irritable and grumpy, but i am happy to say that i am finally poised for recovery.

mentally i have been disagreeable with my Mistress for a week or so. it has placed me on the outside with Her and produced a significant wedge between U/us. i can feel Her disappointment in me. Since this has happened, i have been utterly miserable, not being able to please Her and feeling so distant from Her. yet, in all things,i have discovered that there is a lesson to be learned. the problem is, that sometimes, i am not willing to be taught.

a bdsm relationship,and friendship is not unlike that of a vanilla one. there are ups and downs and arguments and disagreements. that is life. that is how W/we all roll.

i am happy to say that things seem to be better with my Mistress and i. i still respect Her and love to serve Her, but i also realize that there may be times when She needs to go into Herself and may leave me on the outside for awhile. i guess there is nothing wrong with barking or whining a little to let Her know that i am still out there waiting ... ready to serve ... ready to play ... ready to listen ... always a willing friend.