late ... but thankfully forgiven

last weekend did not start out well. i received a call from my Mistress to pick up a dear friend of Hers and drive Her to my Mistress's favorite sushi restaurant across town. i did not mind doing this, but due to the addled state of my brain and other pervasive things that i'm dealing with in my life, i forgot my credit card to pay for gas.

"fuck!", i didn't notice this until i drove up to the gas station to fill up before the journey. to make matters worse, i had to turn around and drive all the way back home to find the damn card and then retrieve it! now, i was really late! after pumping gas, i was finally on my way to pick - up Her friend.

angry at myself for doing something sooooooooo inane and stupid, i knew due to my lateness, that my Mistress would be calling at any minute. boiling and steaming i waited for Her call.

"hello?"

"Hello, pescado ... where are you? you should be here by now! you and She had better well be on your way down here! are you?

i became stressed and answered Her.

"no, i ..."

She didn't let me finish.

"NO! What do you mean no? I have been waiting here for over an hour, and you mean to tell Me that you haven't even picked Her up yet?"

i stumbled and stammered to reply,

"well, i didn't have my credit card and i couldn't get any gas, because i couldn't find it, so i had to drive back home to get it."

"What! pescado! i am very disappointed. i made these plans at this time, because i have specific plans for this evening! now, i have to wait and spend more time waiting while you drive to get Her, and you still have yet to pick Her up! i'm so very disappointed in you!"

i guess, with everything that is going on in my life, i kinda of lost it, and for the first time, i spoke up rather harshly and abruptly to my Mistress.

"look, i thought i had the card, but didn't... i needed gas to get up there."

but, She continued, which made me feel even more inferior for making this mistake and interfering with the plans She had made.

"NO, you look ... i told you that i have made plans to be somewhere tonight, and could only do this at this time. How long is it going to take for you to get here now? Two Hours! and what am i supposed to do for two hours? just sit here and wait until you both finally show-up?"

my brain was rattled and i just felt terrible being a failure to my Mistress, but i also was angry because i felt like She didn't understand what i was going through. it was at that moment that my tone changed with Her.

i am not proud of what happened, but it did.

i stiffened my back and said with a tone of anger,

"i can't help it! things just happen sometimes!"

"What do you mean, "things happen?" She retorted, "is that going to help anything?"

"NO!" i said, but "sometimes, things happen which make moving ahead more difficult!"
i was frustrated, angry and ashamed all at the same time.
"so, what do You want to do? do you want me to just forget the whole thing?"

i slapped my hand over my mouth in an effort to quell the things that were shooting out of it.

i heard Her disgust through the phone. "I can't believe this ... I just can't believe this! Where are you now?"

"on the highway heading towards (the City)." i knew that would not fly or satisfy Her.

"What Hwy? Give Me the number, please." i could hear the displeasure in Her voice.

i struggled to look at my GPS while driving and talking. "i don't know, it's (the number) and i'm heading up there now to get Her."

She sighed heavily and it just tore me up inside that i had inconvenienced Her and that She was disappointed in my performance.

"Ah well, I guess I shall just have to wait here for an additional two hours until you finally make it here. This is such a disappointment to Me pescado. I really was counting on you to be on time today."

i felt myself now choking up ... and i couldn't really say anything to Her because of the deep pangs of guilt that i felt. "ok, Mistress ... i guess i'll see You then."

i don't know what it is about being a submissive and wanting to please a Mistress, but it seems to be hardwired into me. with every passing year of service these feelings seem to intensify. it just seems extremely satisfying to have Her approval and knowing what i do makes Her indeed content and happy. the same can be true for falling short of Her expectations, and not gaining that important pat on the head or Her acknowledgement of approval. all i know, is that what She requires and what She wants when called upon are paramount. Her needs and wishes are to be obeyed, fulfilled and followed. as i continued to think about this, i realized that my glibness was uncalled for and quite disrespectful. condemnation and guilt tried to smother me, as i wrestled with the way i had presented my attitude to my Mistress.

W/we didn't talk anymore on the phone, and i did finally pick up Her friend and brought Her to the sushi restaurant where i had been instructed. W/we were both quiet at first with one another. anger seldom boils up between U/us. it was an odd feeling. She met U/us both outside the restaurant and i watched from a distance as She hugged and embraced Her friend. i lowered my head and walked back. suddenly She came up beside me and clocked me good a couple times in the jaw. nothing was said, but i knew at that point that all seemed to be forgiven.

W/we enjoyed a nice lunch together, and i got a chance to apologize to Her for my ineptness.

"It's alright fishy. You must know that once I set a schedule in motion that it is difficult for Me to have it changed, regardless of the circumstances. So don't do it again!" She played and teased me a bit. She blew a straw at me and then wadded up some paper and nailed me in the face a couple of times.

W/we all laughed and seemed to have a good time. i even had to dodge an occasional flying chopstick launched from Her direction, but ... it was all good.