i was sleeping in a darkened room. the blinds were all shut and there was one solitary person there watching my vital signs. an IV continued to drip into my arm. it was a red liquid which i can only surmise to be blood. i did not ever get a good look at the person's face, but they were dressed in a white suit coat, white pants and red shoes. don't ask me why the shoes were red, i still have not figured that out. the person would not turn around and i was belted into the bed extremely tightly and could not move. with mathematical precision i heard the figure count down to 3,2,1 ... without warning the iv which was pumping red into my veins turned smoky black and i felt like i could not breathe. i tried in vain to scream, but someone had wrapped my mouth in tape. i struggled to free myself, thrashing and jerking myself about. but, the belts only seemed to tighten with each thrust forward.
somehow i was able to free myself. but now i had a bigger problem, as the gurney i was on was being sucked down into the tile. i jumped up and just as i leaped to the crevice of the tile a hand reached out to pull me up. i could not believe it! the gloved hand belonged to my Mistress. She smiled at me and beckoned me to follow Her. She was dressed all in black from head to toe in what appeared to be a chauffer's outfit. W/we somehow made it to the street. everything was smokey and hazy. with apprehension, i saw the headlights of a car drive up. it was a sleek black limousine with the gold initials of my Mistress on the rear panels. W/we ran to the car and She pushed me in. i remember the feeling of the seats. they were red and cushioned soft velvet. finally beginning to relax, i watched the hospital and then the cemetery fade from view. i could just about see ahead of us, but my Mistress's jet black hair covered the view.
i asked Her, "where are W/we going? where are You taking me." i was so grateful to Her for saving me from the sinking floor of the hospital.
all She said was, "you will see ... you will see. it is a place where you deserve to be for all your suffering and pain." i was unable see, but suddenly the velvet got smaller and smaller until i was boxed in like a box. realizing that the box was a coffin, i screamed for my Mistress to stop. but, She wouldn't listen and kept driving on.
i was soon forced to lay down with my hands across my chest. it was then that i noticed a black type of rot seeping in around the corners of the casket withering my limbs and paralyzing me from moving. i could only see the back of my Mistress's head and the mist before us.
W/we finally stopped and i screamed to be released. She bent over my form and said, "W/we can't let You contaminate the population. This is a better end for you and besides, it is much more entertaining for Me. and you do want to please Me, don't you?" She laughed with evil derision.
i gagged and coughed, but could not speak. She patted my cheek and said,
"Awwwwwww ... poor baby ... it will be over soon." i watched helplessly as She stepped out of the hearse. desperate to scream, i felt a lurch, and the hearse moved forward into the jaws of some huge machine. it stopped and then i watched in horrow as my Mistress kissed her gloved fingers, waved bye bye and then walked over to a large green button. i watched in utter helplessness and horror as She smiled a wicked grin and pushed the green button. She pouted and then waved and then walked away with a tall man who held a long shovel with guitar strings on it. i watched hopelessly as they walked away laughing. the jaws of the crusher moved closer and closer to me. i struggled to scream. i felt the sides of the casket giving away and my world going completely black. i couldn't breathe and i felt my legs and arms being crushed. the blood and guts were shooting out of my body. i screamed loudly one last time. suddenly from out of nowhere a hand appeared and pulled me out of the crusher. it was then that i woke up.i do not know who the hand belonged to. i was only grateful to be allowed exit from that personal hell.
i gazed at the clock. it was 4:30AM. sunrise was still far off. i was a mess. sopping wet with sweat and strangling in my bed sheets again. i am quite afraid to go to sleep each night now. my dreams have become places far worse than reality. waking from them makes me question everything that i once knew as believable and true. there has got to be a way to get beyond these hellish experiences and return to some semblance of normalcy. i can only hope.
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