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some things Y/you should know about me
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- sushichum
- atl, GA
- this blog is about me and my expressions and acceptance of being a male submissive within a female dominated world. i accept the rule of female dominance and supremacy and realize that it is only a matter of time when this shall be the cultural norm within O/our society. in this blog one will find examples of my art, my writings, jottings, videos, observations and stories which chronicle and revolve around my life and fetishes. throughout this blog i hope to honor the creativity, superior intelligence, strength and physical vitality of women, while at the same time point out the insecurities, shortcomings and frailties of males. as such, this blog has a decidedly Femdomme slant.
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9/27/2011
the dangers of subby fever
submissive fever is a state of mind that many new unseasoned subs experience during a submission. it is most commonly associated with new submissives. however, it can also come about when more experienced submissives end a relationship or even during an intense bonding. during a phase of submissive fever, you may feel a desperate need to have your desires fulfilled. many of the activities in BDSM can be considered addictive and the fever is much like a withdrawal stage. similar to what one would consider from a drug induced state.
for me this fever has been heart wrenching and ongoing. it has consumed most of my adult life even when i couldn’t specifically label it or physically wrap my hands around it. it possibly caused confusion and frustration and perhaps outbursts. i knew there was a need prevalent, but its identity was blurring and fuzzy in my unconsciousness. when i found out about submission and BDSM there was a moment where that need was identified and named. i would have to say that it was at that particular moment when i began the downward spiral into my fevered state.
oh how i wanted it, desired it and needed it. i had to have it and anything i could do to experience fulfillment of that primitive longing had to done. dangerously, this leads to lack of common sense and rational thought, desperation and risky behavior. it is quite common that first experiences done in this frenzy can have a negative or damaging effect on the novice submissive. judgment is blurred, and common sense is tossed aside and the Dominant you are in contact with could seem almost too wonderful. at first it appears they can do no wrong, but sub fever places blinders over ones eyes and muddies the truth of the experience.
my excursion into the world of BDSM led me first to contact Mistresses or Dommes through the phone or via “Talk Sugar” and “Nite Flirt”. So desperate was i to have my submission validated that i would do and give practically anything monetarily to subside and quench the hunger. i soon found that there were Mistresses whose only intent was to drain me financially and of course “Nite Flirt” would stand to gain from my demise. i did this foolishly until a good friend and straight talking Dominatrix told and admonished me to go out and meet a real Dominatrix and experience the feeling of a true submission. i finally woke up to what She was saying and experienced my first initial session with a Domme whom i thought had my best interests at heart and was truly interested in me as a submissive. however, my first session while intense led to other subsequent sessions which were not so tame or friendly. each time i met with Her She would ramp up the pain and intensity. Her favorite seemed to be beatings with paddles, crops, quirts and canes. My last session with Her was quite bloody and much too intense and She did not seem in control as she beat the “holy shit” out of me. She demanded more tribute and took to walloping my backsides up and down with Her favorite cane. i was seriously bruised and bloodied, but could not register complaints as i was bound quite tightly and gagged. upon closer inspection i noticed She had taken out gouges of my backsides flesh. needless to say even after Her heartless explanation, i stopped going to see Her. Her tirades and demands for more money left a bitter taste in my mouth and on my rear end. but, the fever continued to fester and grow. i had to feed it. but how now could i do it?
my point is that the fever never subsides. at least from my experience. it should be monitored and watched cautiously submissive fever can lead to tremendous lapses in judgement and cause submissives to want to overly please their Dommes. this is indeed a dangerous situation and can lead to terrible safety issues. the submissive must learn to verbalize respectfully what his needs are to the Dominant. in particular, insist on safe words before intense play and ask to see the toys and implements which will be used prior to a session. a good Domme will respect those needs and questions. it has been my brief experience that there are good Dommes with adequate training and bad Dommes with insufficient training who are interested in only satisfying their “bloodlust” for pain and torture. a submissive has the right to expect that a Domme is trained with CPR and First Aid and that a certain amount of aftercare is issued upon the completion of a scene.
a submissive may need and want to have their desires met with such fervor that they make the wrong decisions, but hopefully these will not be overshadowed by what is termed safe and what is not. a fever is a natural response to the needs the submissive is discovering. allowing it to take over your other primary goals in life however is dangerous and should be monitored. it is vitally important to establish bdsm friendships in the lifestyle and talk to them when you are feeling an intense surge of desire. while not always possible, try to keep ones demons in check and don’t allow them to carry you away in an ambulance or worse to the morgue. play fun, but be informed and always play safe in bdsm.
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